Redneck Jokes (I)
As someone once observed, southerners will be polite until they
are angry enough to kill you.
---John Shelton Reed
Q. What do you call a redneck with half a brain?
A. Gifted.
On his first trip to Nashville, Bobby Ray became friendly with the
room clerk at his hotel. After talking together for a while, the clerk said,
"I have a riddle for you. My father and mother had a baby. It wasn't
my brother or sister. Who was it?"
Bobby Ray pondered for a while. "I give up," he finally said.
"It is me!" said the clerk.
When Bobby Ray got home he rushed to his wife, "I have a riddle for you.
My father and mother had a baby. It wasn't my brother or sister. Who was
it?"
"I give up," said his wife. "Who was it?"
"A room clerk in Nashville!"
In the middel of a especially hot Alabama day, Bryan collapsed in the middle
of the street. A group of people quickly gathered around him, offering advice.
"Give him some air," said one man.
"Give him a shot of whisky," offered a little old lady.
"Bring him to a hospital," commented another man.
"Raise his feet," yelled out another.
As one suggestion followed another, Bryan finally sat up and said, "Will
you all just keep quiet and listen to that sweet little lady?"
Q. What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A. Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Three men were stranded on a desserted island: an Englishman, an Irishman, and
a redneck. One day they discovered a magic lamp
on the beach, and when the rubbed it a genie appeared and gave them
each one wish. The Irishman said that he really missed Dublin
and he asked to be taken back to Ireland. In a moment he was gone.
Then it was the Englishman's turn, and following suit,
he asked to be returned to London. Finally it was the redneck's wish.
When the genie asked him what he wanted, he looked around, "Well now that
I'm all by myself, could you bring the other two guys back?"
[If you have good jokes and would like to post them here, please let me
know. ]
[Last update: December 10, 1997]